Frank Avis' Memoirs of 42 Years in Radio

Here we go with another year... good luck to you all

2021-03-18T12:00:00+10:00

Here we go with another year... good luck to you all. I don't know whether you'll label me a pessimist or a realist but I'm repeating my persistent warnings from earlier days that the real coronavirus impact will come around mid-year, when the world will get a clearer view of the financial ramifications. I keep thinking they'll rival the Global Financial Crisis earlier in the century.

We still don't know how long it'll take the world to regain its financial momentum but I can give you one warning from here in Sydney that suggests there are some unexpected implications we'll have to factor in. Spoke to a colleague recently who went to have lunch in a shopping centre smack in the heart of a massive business centre in the city's northwest. This place is a gold mine, surrounded by office blocks as far as the eye can see which in turn are surrounded by thousands and thousands of new houses, built for the workers in those office blocks. He walked into the shopping centre food court right on lunchtime and found JUST FOUR PEOPLE eating there. He was stunned and had a quick chat to a mate who ran an eatery in the centre. His friend explained that most of these businesses, about a dozen of them, had been working desperately to just hang-on waiting for the decline of the pandemic and the return of the office workers. They'd extended their loans and even taken out new ones to keep things going 'til the good times returned. Trouble is, the workers didn't come back. Only about 20% of the workforce is back in their buildings. Most of them are continuing to do their shifts at home. Companies right across the region are trying desperately to cancel their leases.

Somebody else told me of a major international finance firm which welcomed back 100 workers, who'd been operating from home, promptly sacked 80 of them, closing down an entire wing of their office block. It's cheaper to run your staff from home unless they absolutely have to operate from one central area. And of course you can ditch the office block and make monumental savings. Just imagine if we get to May-June '21 and find this behaviour repeated across the globe... in London, Paris, New York. Are there 100's of 1000's of small businesses just hanging on waiting for the workers to return only to realise that they're not coming back - EVER? It's not just the collapse of these businesses but the collapse of their loans, which means the banks will start foreclosing and it'll be back to the good old GFC which triggered a financial meltdown over a decade ago.

The Covid death toll in the UK, USA and all over the world is totally monumental. I don't know how much worse things can get. I was discussing this with someone a while back and they stopped in mid-sentence, looked me in the eye and said, "Is this the end of the World"?

As we travel into 2021, more bad news on the passing of a true legend, with the death of one of the most celebrated figures in the radio industry, John Brennan. "Brenno" left us recently at the age of 89. He was the Prince of PD's having led three blockbuster stations to No. 1 with 2SM and the Good Guys, 2UE news/talkback and 2GB with yet another essay into the News-Talk arena. He walked among giants... indeed he trained quite a few of them in a long illustrious career. In the trade he is simply known as "The Kingmaker".

Word has just reached me about the death of another industry veteran with the passing of 63-year old Jim Graham, brought down by a dreaded heart attack. He was particularly well known south of the Murray. I know our paths crossed... was it 3DB... 3MP? But I Just can't confirm where we worked together. I do know he had one of the best baritones you ever heard. When people reacted to his death in recent times I noticed they were using terms like "dulcet" and "mellifluous". Yep, that was Jim. Actually, I'd completely forgotten the name then one night I was listening to the ABC and guess who popped up reading a national update? I knew that voice straight away.

2GB still holds the high ground in the latest Sydney Survey, up slightly to 14.4 but the ABC had a corker, rising over 3% to 12.2. Smooth remains the overall leader in the FM band while our old mate 2UE moved back over 2%. In the world of TV, I'm being promised a new series shortly of the top-class British crime drama, Unforgotten. The other good news is that this is going to be the final year of the IQ-numbing Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Countering this, however, is Channel 9's confirmation that MAFS (Married at First Sight... guys... come on, get with the programme!) is coming back in 2022. It's not my fault... Do not shoot the messenger.

Imagine my astonishment while watching the 9 News recently to see a high profile wheeler-and-dealer announce an amazing revolutionary concept. His firm was building a massive shipment area out in the western suburbs which would connect Port Botany via rail. The plan, he announced proudly, was to rail more goods and cut the number of trucks on our roads. Woweeee, and this only 40 years after I started campaigning back at 2 DAY FM to convince Government to reopen our rail cargo networks in order to get those dangerous trucks off the motorways and road systems. What will happen now? Will I see another interview in the months ahead where another businessman suddenly discovers that we can bring our agricultural products from the country to their markets by train - freeing up our clogged roads for car traffic? Why... we may even realise that this is a two-way-street: we can SEND supplies out to the bush on the same train that'll be used to transport the produce to the cities. I like where this is going!

I'm not offering any further comment on the Trump White House, especially in the wake of those incredible scenes in Washington recently. Analysis of this bizarre conduct needs a lot more academic preparation. I only did Psychology 1: you'd need a Doctorate out of Harvard to figure this lot out.

Allow me if you will to quote Sherpa Tenzing (1953) "We done the bugger". In this case the "bugger" is a political Everest, "Brexit". The UK and EU finally did a deal, well sort of, to finish their political relationship but I still have no idea where it'll all finally go in the end. I know Britain will regain its rights and its freedom as an autonomous unit but I still can't decide whether it'll be a financial benefit, mainly because I've got no idea of the long term impact on complex areas like the London financial sector and a range of manufacturing which has been directly linked to the EU. Will I live long enough to analyse the results around 2040. (I think I already know the answer to that so don't bother sending me any funny emails)

And do you mind if I indulge myself in a little Australian Colonial culture, quoting one of the original bush poets, Adam Lindsay Gordon, from 1870?

"Hold hard Ned! Lift me down once more, and lay me in the shade...
Let me slumber in the hollow where the wattle blossoms wave..."

Welcome to another radio/philosophical update from Yours Truly

2017-05-25T12:00:00+10:00

Sitting in a doctor's surgery recently and I happened to catch an hour or so of SmoothFM.

Interesting! Very professional programme, allowing the listener to make the decision on whether they want to really pay attention or alternately whether they want it to be just in the background (professionals used to call that "lift music"). But certainly a quality product with good promo/ad "seaming" through the hour. (A close colleague, Geoff Brown - who specialised in the "folding technique" - incorporating the ads and promo content into the hour clock - would really enjoy the Smooth style). And then it got to the top of the hour and I'm listening all of a sudden to one of the most professional readers of my era... (actually ANY era)... the supremely admired Steve Blanda.

I'd forgotten that Blands had moved on to FM after the implosion of UE NEWS a couple of years ago. Oh man... I think he's actually better than back in the 80's. Is that possible? I got to hear two bulletins and they were essentially perfect. Is it appropriate for me to ask How Old is Steve?

I mean I know he's a veteran, but how much of a veteran?

Incidentally, the latest Survey up here shows SMOOTH taking over the market as FM No. 1, with a rise of around 1.5%. The battle of the old timers continues with CH up solidly to be just-under 4 and UE, now doing Lifestyle, hanging on at 4.5%. GB lifted fractionally to dominate overall as usual.

You might remember my dire warning last time of a return to the 1929 "crash", a sort of economic variation on Dante's "Inferno". I suggested the Australian property market would collapse triggering our version downunder of the GFC – the Great Financial Crisis. Imagine my shock when two days after my post hit the internet to see a front page in The Australian, suggesting the bursting of the property bubble, leading to a severe economic downturn. Within the week the Reserve Bank was out there warning of the exposure by thousands of new home owners who had little financial reserves left after meeting their mortgage obligations, suggesting this could threaten the basic economy if things were to go pear-shaped in the next couple of years... "Blimey," I thought, "what's happening here, am I channelling Milton Friedman?"

Further, if Bob Dylan can win a Nobel Prize for Literature maybe it's not too late for me to grab the big prize in Economics? Three days later, in another major paper, I discover an in-depth analysis of the housing market, arguing that it can't continue and posing the question: could it drag down the whole economy? Wow... I'm on a roll here folks. As I said earlier let's assess the situation over the next 18-24 months and cross our fingers for a soft landing. I note the IMF is saying Australia's economy is watertight at the moment... No problems apparently.

PS Late mail. The Financial Press this morning had the story of a leading national home lender reporting "a significant" increase in loan defaults. Ooh... oooh!

On the controversial issue of a rock ' roller winning the Nobel Prize for Literature let me remind you of some of the lyrics that won the Award for Mr Dylan.

From 1962 people.

"How many roads must a man walk down, before they call him a man?

Yes, 'n how many seas must a white dove sail, before she sleeps in the sand?

Yes, 'n how many times must the cannonballs fly, before they're forever banned?

The answer my friend is blowing' in the wind, the answer is blowin' in the wind."

Saw Peter, Paul and Mary do that one LIVE. Now... there's a memory!

Now a little light relief after all this deep analysis, two pics below showing the author in the iconic 2MMM jumper, circa 1980, and next to it an even more ancient artefact, a 3MP jumper which is now 41-years old.

You know what I miss from the old days? Joe the Gadget man. No trip to the city was complete back in the 50's and 60's without a visit to Nock and Kirby's, to see Joe, one of the most celebrated characters of the post-war era. Whatever happened to Nock and Kirby's? What happened to Mark Foy's?

The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind, the answer is blowin' in the wind.

More from radio and beyond...

2016-01-12T12:00:00+10:00

This is definitely beyond as it relates to my persistent warnings about the impact of modern technology. Today we live in an "electronic atmosphere". When I walk through a shopping centre I have to repeatedly dodge people who are walking straight at me with their eyes down, looking at their latest text message. Children, on a 5-hour car trip, sit mesmerised by their gadgetry. They no longer look out the window at the gorgeous little towns they're passing.They don't see the horses, cows and sheep in the paddocks. They don't see the fields of wheat being fanned by the afternoon breeze. When, years later, they look back on their annual holiday trip to the coast, what will they remember?

This era is best summed-up by a friend of ours who tells the story of going to have dinner with a family who live in a palatial, 2-storey mansion in an exclusive Sydney suburb. Our friend is greeted at the front door by his mate and enquires about the man's wife, who is setting the table for dinner on the first floor. The host gets his mobile out and rings his wife on her mobile upstairs. They're in THE same house!

As I get more and more nostalgic I keep returning to earlier days in the industry. I can even hear some of those famous lines. If you listen carefully maybe you can you hear them too?

"Hi Ho everybody" - Jack Davey.

Jack was the giant of the golden age of radio through the 40's and 50's. Think of Bradman and Phar Lap: that's the sort of legendary status he occupied.

"This I believe" - Eric Baume.

He was riveting as he launched his opinions on 2GB Macquarie.

"Howdy customers, howdy", "Happy lathering Customers" - Bob Dyer.

The hillbilly who conquered Australian radio and TV with his famous quiz shows (eg. Pick a Box).

"Ere I am Young 'Arry", "Cop this young Harry", "Strike me Lucky", "Don't come the raw prawn with me" - Roy Rene.

The beloved Mo McCackie. They won't give you an Australian passport if you don't know Mo. "It's me Mr McC... Spencer the Garbage Man"... McCackie Mansions again.

"When a girl marries... Dedicated to all those in love and all those who can... Remember"

From the radio classic that dominated the womens' shows way back when. I have a sneaking suspicion the VO was courtesy another giant in the business, Brian Henderson (need confirmation).

"Hello World... This is Long John", "And you be kind to each other" - John Laws.

One of the most stunning debuts on Sydney radio. A star from the first 15 seconds. Amazing presence in virtually any format.

"'Arper 'ere... Now I'm gonna read ya an ad" - John Harper.

How do you describe such a classic Aussie performer? "Ol' gravel voice" did the Morning slot on 2KY and the city absolutely loved this bloke.

The 2015 radio season closed pretty much as it opened with 2GB dominating overall especially in the critical breakfast/morning slots. True, the audience is well beyond middle age but I go back to a roundtable I had with Brendan Sheedy and Paul Thompson at the old 3DB (what is it called nowdays?) in the 70's when we were discussing a news-info-talkback format (never happened folks) and I was arguing that an audience of over 55's wasn't that bad. I remember saying the 55's of the 70's were the 45's of the 50's. Today,the 65's are the 55's of the previous generation. They travel more... A lot more... They buy new cars, sell the old home and move into a new, smaller one on the coast and generally upgrade their lifestyle like somebody 10-15 years younger. It's as true today as it was when we were debating the issue in the 70's... you can make a very nice living with a strong showing in the plus-55 demographic.

I get a lot of enjoyment, both professionally and as interested audience, from TV and movie scripts.I even enjoy good scripts for commercials, which is clearly a worry.

I've especially liked the UK crime series DCI Banks in recent years, although it seems they manage to make just a couple of episodes occasionally. But the show features an excellent male senior detective assisted by two women officers... one young and pretty, the other a little older, less pretty and somewhat socially challenged. She's advised to stop being so uptight socially which leads to some delicious one-liners. This scene â€“ featuring Det. Helen Morris â€“ is set in the police station where one of the officers has been doing a check on porn sites on the internet.

And he can't believe how much there is and how weird it gets.

Det. 1: The number of web sites for fans of gun porn is dwarfed by those for connoisseurs of, well, dwarfs, for a start... not to mention nylon, bubble wrap, puppets...

Dec. 2: Puppets?

Dec. 1: Puppets!

DI Morton: And I thought men were after no-strings sex.

I want you to know before I launch into my latest critique of the ABC that Aunty is pretty much the only radio I listen to these days... Newsradio/BBC at night and occasionally the ABC's PM show at 6 o'Clock.

I have to report a couple of incidents involving ABC TV's channel 24, the all news operation.

It was a weekend in March 2014 and we were driving home from having our regular Gloria Jeans coffee, when I heard a brief report that a Malaysian Airliner had "vanished" on a flight from KL to Beijing. The report said "vanished" which certainly piqued the interest of an old journo.

When I got home I immediately headed for the TV but quickly realised the commercial networks were into hard-wired weekend programming and that we'd be lucky to see anything meaningful from them before 6. I'd never tried channel 24 before but thought "well... this is the ideal time to give it a try". So I switched on to see the reader â€“ a bit wooden but quite serviceable â€” reporting the story of the mysterious disappearance. I watched for half an hour, waiting to see some real coverage, a bit of inventiveness to put the story into context. And I just kept waiting and waiting.

I'm sitting there watching this predictable, dead straight reporting, thinking to myself, "Guys, this is a freebie. You've got no free-to-air competition for hours and hours. This story is yours... Go get it." The Frank Avis fundamental tenet remember in any of my newsrooms is OWN THE STORY FROM THE FIRST MOMENT. Never fail to meet your audiences expectations. 45, 60 mins went by and now I've gone into full journo mode because the hair is standing up on the back of my head... I know this is a big, big story. Darleen starts looking at me with concern as I begin talking to the TV.

"Come on guys... Do something. You've got a weather specialist there so get him on with a map of the route... Tell us what the weather was like at the time. Was there a major storm in the area?"

Nope... Channel 24 just kept soldiering on in a dead straight, unthinking, totally boring path.

By now I'm yelling, "Get an international pilot on screen to tell us about the route... Is it common for airliners to hit sudden unexpected storm fronts? Are you flying mainly over water?"... etc etc. Talk to a specialist on camera. "What sort of plane is it? Any problems recently? What about the airline... its maintenance/safety record?" I mean doing this job is so simple really: ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS ANSWER THE QUESTIONS YOU KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE IS ALREADY ASKING.

After some time I just took my bat and retired not out, heading over the cable news where they were doing most of the things I'd just been yelling out. I was really upset to be honest and didn't return to channel 24 for a long, long time. Recently there was another story running and I thought that I'd give it another go, back to test the water.

Now what I'm telling you about these incidents is absolutely true. I'm not dressing this up.This is just how it happened.

I cross to channel 24 and there's a news reader, obviously saying something, but I can't hear him.

"Damn it," I curse. "Where's the remote, I've left the sound down." Nope, just as I'm about to adjust my sound the man starts to speak, low at first but eventually being faded up. Yes, they had his mike closed. Within seconds the reader crosses to an outside reporter for an on-the-spot update.

His lips are moving. I know he's saying something but just can't hear it. Silence. Then up he comes as they fade up the mic.

I haven't returned to channel 24. Too scared.

Incidentally radio fans, our resident Reunion Host, Andrew Kilpatrick, tells me he's planning our next get-together in March. We meet at the Pymble Hotel and it's a really nostalgic afternoon and they do a nice hot cappuccino. Will keep you posted.

Oh, and you be kind to each other.

Reunion with Frank

2015-07-01T12:00:00+10:00

Here we go with some more stuff about that most complex of industries... Good old radio.

History took me recently to the Pymble Hotel on Sydney's outskirts where I diced with death taking the pedestrian crossing along the Pacific Highway over the rail line. It was a bit like going back to Srinagar Airport really, minus the machine guns on the roof of the terminal (not to mention the rocket launchers on the runways)... Anyway, I stumbled inside to be met by the event organiser, Andrew Kilpatrick, our Resident Curator of Radio. Then, standing a metre in front of me was a familiar face, one of my dearest colleagues from 1976 and 1980, Geoff Brown. We gave each other a hug and quickly launched into a wealth of memories including the night we sat on my lounge room floor from 8pm 'til daybreak rewriting 3MP's programming policy after having had our licence refused. Wooo... that's probably a drama best left to another time and place. Suffice to say that ordeal was basically like being in the same platoon during a war. When you go through that sort of stuff you're brothers for life. So Geoff and I are brothers for life. There were old radio people everywhere. I loved seeing Holger Brockman and Mike Drayson, but didn't get anywhere near enough time together. Wonderful pleasure to meet up with Wayne Mac, our legendary radio historian and to sign his famous book, Don't touch that Dial. I noticed that other signatories had put their stations alongside their signature and proceeded to do the same, thus taking up most of the page. It started with 2MG in '54 and ended up with MIX 106.5 in '96... I think I might have forgotten a couple at the end. I met a lot of people - Gregg Sinclair, Tony,Jose, Robert and others, forgive my memory -. and we told each other lots of stories over the next 3 hours. Wayne was especially interested in the early days at MMM and I was able to confirm that I WAS the founding News Director - signed up by Rod Muir in 1980 - and I hired Terry Mabb, Jim Carroll and Jason Wayne as our roving reporter. The view from the high rise was unbelievable and the place really rocked with some good old rock and roll, courtesy PD Cherie Romaro. Sadly I had to get out in 9 months but that's another story (there are so many "other stories").

The above pictures show Andrew and Wayne with some mysterious old bloke who apparently just wandered in from the street. How did this old bugger manage to get in? Whatever happened to our security?

One thing I realised was how those memories had to be recorded as part of our industry's folk lore. I'm a cricket tragic and I can get a book which takes me back to a test innings by WG Grace or Victor Trumper, and re-live it ball by ball. All because somebody sat down and recorded the moment for posterity. All of a sudden I realise what we owe historians like Wayne and Andrew... the "Keepers of the Flame".

Keep recording all this stuff fellas... Keep recording the memories. They're the real history.

I don't think you can get a copy of Don't touch that dial currently - have to check with Wayne - but you can catch up with plenty of historic radio actuality if you head for Andrew's web site, The Radio Antenna. Enjoy.

One of the conversations that was sadly cut short was when one of my colleagues said that young people weren't really listening to the radio anymore. Not sure who it was, might have been Wayne Mac, but I need to resume those talks because it's absolutely fascinating.

The theory is that they don't need to have a radio anymore. They're walking around with a phone that is playing the music they want to hear and updating the news and sport. Well, not so much updating... More like probably playing it live on the phone's screen. It's an incredible avenue of conversation. What has radio to offer the under-25's over the next couple of generations? Are we going to lose them?

One of the big stories of 2015 is the end of the 2UE newsroom, closed down to be affiliated with Macquarie's 2GB News operation. UE has hit hard times and the accountants have decided to bite the bullet and go cost cutting, especially in areas that are labour intensive. But it has shocked the industry, especially those who remember the great days of UE when it ran its own national network. Those days incidentally weren't so long ago. That's what is such a worry. Now people are ringing and emailing me, expressing the fear that UE may eventually go completely. This is a broadcaster that started in the mid-20's - the oldest commercial radio station in our history. There was a time when UE and GB fought each other tooth and nail. Now, with the Macquarie-Fairfax merger they're going to have the same newsroom. There are people turning in graves all over the place.

I wrote a fairly negative piece in my last report warning that the "luck" just couldn't last in the lucky country, that we just couldn't afford our lifestyle forever, that the cost of everything, especially wages, would have to come down closer to the level of our trading partners. It's been a wonderful ride but reality is standing there in the wings waiting to enter.

My recent SMH carried a report from the independent think tank Per Capita warning that we "face an inevitable correction with real wages set to fall markedly to reflect the nation's changed economic circumstances". Fittingly, it is titled "PARADISE LOST? THE RACE TO MAINTAIN AUSTRALIAN LIVING STANDARDS". I know you're going to say, "Don't worry... She'll be right... It'll all work out in the end." Sorry guys... She's not going to be alright.

I was reminiscing with someone recently and got to thinking about all the memories you get while you move around during your career.

2MG, MUDGEE 1954. I was a teenager heading up country all by myself. I was met on the train platform by the Manager Bill Marsden ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â‚¬Å“ lovely bloke. It was sunny and there was a different smell in the air. I loved that aroma and still detect that smell when I drive out into the country. It says, "Welcome to rural Australia." You never forget the smell of the countryside. And a warm and sunny day in Mudgee is so much better than the same weather in some over- populated city. You hear so many stories about successful people who've travelled the globe but return to their home in the country at the end of their life. I think they want to smell the air again before they die.

SYDNEY 1976. I returned to the Big Smoke briefly for a meeting and took a bus ride up to the Upper North Shore. I stepped off the bus and the heavens opened up on top of me. The sky dumped rain as only Sydney can. I was standing in this downpour, trying to hide under an awning, and there in front of me was this gorgeous beach and beyond that, lapping at the sand, the wonderful Pacific... The most beautiful ocean on Earth. Then the rain stopped, the sun came out and there was this magic, this electricity, in the air. Only Sydney feels like that after a Summer afternoon deluge.

I remember in the 40's and 50's you'd be sweltering in temperatures up in the 90's and my Aunty would look at the horizon and start getting her washing in. She knew what was coming. Sure enough the southerly buster would sweep in at 4 O'clock, right on queue, dumping an inch of rain in half an hour. Oh I loved that southerly buster.

6PR, PERTH 1974. The first thing I think I noticed was the difference between the oceans.The Pacific was this gorgeous blue but the Indian on the other side of our nation was, as I remember it, basically green. And there wasn't any dirt. It was all sand. Not sure whether I have overly romanticised those days but the PR format was dead-set marvellous. My hero, Rhett Walker, had fashioned this MOR operation which had a sophisticated feel but was enough country to include "lost dog and cat" announcements. It worked perfectly,e specially for jocks like Ted Bull, Dean Matters and, I'm pretty sure, Tony Hartney. The play list was pretty much perfect but I'm no expert in this field. You'd need to speak to Cherie Romaro who can tell you about PR and 2DAY a decade later. Both excellent adult formats.

Finally, the thing that drives me to distraction in 2015. I settle into bed around 9:30 and put my trusty radio on to ABC's Newsradio, hoping to slowly nod off to the sounds of local newsradio, backed up by its partners, BBC and US National Public Radio. All goes well until Monday night when I find myself subjected to the dreadful ABC panel show, Q&A.

From the top let me acknowledge that I hate these BBC-style panel shows whether they be on political/social issues or general entertainment (never, I entreat you, watch Would I Lie to you?) The thing about Q&A - and indeed the whole ABC operation - is that it's so incredibly biased. I've spent years trying to understand how the National Broadcaster can be so far removed from the fundamental social thrust of the general population. Conspiracy theorists will tell you it's all part of the plan, carefully organised by the left-wing bureaucrats. But I talk to a lot of ABC people and I don't think there is any such plan. I genuinely believe that they simply don't realise that they're doing it. These are people, way beyond mainstream Australia, who are educated and intellectually indoctrinated with a belief system which forms the basis of all their work. That "basis" is simply never questioned. It is the platform from which everything else operates. If you question the "platform" they look at you as if you're speaking Esperanto, whatever that is. I've spent some time trying to find a phrase that summarises this ABC ethos. Recently I was wading through a whole heap of opinion about Q&A and I happened upon a piece by journalist Janet Albrechtsen who described it as "cultural arrogance". You nailed it, Janet. Wish I'd come up with that one.

Anyway, the bottom line is I seem to have a lot of nightmares on Mondays.